Friday, February 29, 2008

Carter Lake

geographically within but politically outside of Nebraskashire's influence, Carter Lake is a local Lesotho--tenuously connected to its magistrates in the neighboring district of Iowhampton.

Carter Lake features a unique sort of people who are fiercely individualistic, perchance the more insular because of their proximity to and dependence upon the inimical populace and alien environ which surround them.

theoretically, a lake just north of Omaha's thriving downtown would be prime real estate.

however, the area sits betwixt one of Omaha's poorest neighborhoods and the airport. soon, it may become even more a home-away-from-home for the impoverished of both districts; leaders of the indigenous Ponca Tribe propose constructing a casino on Carter Lake. thereafter, those unwilling or unable to resist the beguiling delectation of Iowhampton need no longer fear a cold walk across the Mormon Bridge (or Missouri River Pedestrian Bridge) in January as penance for staking the title to their jalopy on a 19 in Vingt-et-un.

Thursday, February 28, 2008


though it lacks vaulted ceilings, colonnades and golden filigree, the capitol building of Nebraskashire impresses. one of the tallest structures in the district, it is visible for miles and juxtaposes the plains--majestically rising above the amber waves of grain.

unfortunately the most ponderous man currently employed at the capitol.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008


more aptly: vue des maisons de bardeau d'une communauté homogène de Républicains employés par la force aérienne à Offutt.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

A Confession

order-in Chinese food indulges my two great loves:
1. American bastardizations of things once foreign and good (in every sense of the word).
2. not having to go anywhere.

Friday, February 22, 2008

The Middling Class

I have been told that injecting personal wealth into the free market is philanthropic to the masses it serves. by granting my butler, Rothchild, a generous allowance and a day of light chores during which to spend it, I have contributed indirectly to the second-class economy for years--primarily benefiting the owners of an area package liquor store called The Hooch Hutch.

today, I happened to have a few American dollars. desiring to allay my curiosity with the laissez faire through more direct involvement, noticing that my vehicle was covered in dirt and remembering that Rothchild was too busy polishing the silver to clean it, I stopped at a car wash to partake in a reasonable deal (judging from the long line of customers).

truly an adventure.

Thursday, February 21, 2008


occasionally, I too must wile away the hours doing something that is not really anything.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Percy Bysshe Shelley Said It Best

the great irony of my life took place this morning. flossing, I removed nothing more notable than a strawberry seed (which my tongue with due diligence would have removed in time). then the strand snapped, lodging a bit of floss unyieldingly between two teeth.

to extricate the floss, I wonder whether to trust the dexterity of my tongue, the ebb and flow of the oral environment or floss.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Saturday, February 16, 2008


tea at High Park with the Dovey family.

awaiting fellow acolytes of a gentler age.

the Dovey's lack of restraint in historic recreation results in rather garish table settings.

Friday, February 15, 2008


although I enjoy cities, I prefer ones with a bit of rumpus room. I do not at all care for those which are altogether too crowded (the criterion of such being: a wait of longer than a quarter of an hour at Olive Garden on any day--besides St. Valentine's--is wholly unacceptable).

I spoke with the proprietor of this establishment; he assured me that he would speak with his gardener and that that offensive brown tree would be removed before my next visit.

Nichol Caddingham of the Nebraskashire Caddinghams

much like the idle class of yesteryear, the primary pursuit of the gentry of Nebraskashire--a largely unknown district in the Middle West-- is these holidays to see relations (oft distant but always refined), exotic locales or geographic and cultural oddities.